200775

Joke of the Day

"THERAPIST: How does that make you feel? ME: ""Mphh mophh wampph."" T: Again, this works better if you don't lie face down on the couch."

"Why are females so moody when they're on their period? It's an ovary action."

"Blood's thicker than water, so remember to pull back on the flour a bit when you substitute it into your baking."

"I wanted to take up yoga. I contacted a yoga instructor and told him I wanted to be able to do the splits. He said ""what's your flexibility like?"" I said ""I can't do Tuesdays""."

"(bad joke) What's the best vegetable for stepping on when you get out of the shower? A toe-mat-o."

"Why do black cats never shave ? Because 8 out of 10 cats prefer whiskas !"

"I call all dogs 'puppies', regardless of age. They like it."

"I've been with the same woman for twenty years. Don't tell my wife. She'd kill me."

"The best part of Pitbull is he yells out ""MR WORLDWIDE!,"" at the beginning of each of his songs, giving you ample time to change the station"

"What did the tsunami say to Japan? .. ... nothing, it waved. Happy Thursday all."