72951
Joke of the Day
"I've been with the same woman for twenty years. Don't tell my wife. She'd kill me."
Next Joke
"If laziness was an Olympic sport... I would be fourth so I wouldn't have to step up on the podium. Edit: too lazy for dictionaries, thanks /u/ReddSpy"
"How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? Tenants."
"I recently adopted a highway, since I am unfortunately unable to have a biological highway"
"Where's Finnick? Odair he is! Obligatory: My brother told this to me while watching Mockingjay P2."
"If Taylor Swift wasn't a famous singer, I bet she'd be crazy fucking annoying on Facebook."
"A magician was driving down the road when suddenly... He turned into a driveway!"
"What does a retired Olympic sprinter have in common with Bernie Sanders? He quit running."
"Water is the most precious drink Because without it we can't make coffee"
"Blonde Joke Why did the blonde girl have bruises around her belly button? Because blonde guys aren't smart either (Sorry if it's a repost.)"