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Joke of the Day

"What do you call it when a hedge fund manager loses his job to a Watson inspired AI built by IBM? It doesn't matter. We'll all be laughing too hard to care."

"What's the difference between Cheryl Crawford and dead embryos? Dead embryos don't tell on their mothers ..."

"Where do fishes keep their money? In river banks"

"WIFE: why do we even need a gun in the house ME: *fires off 8 rounds just to kill a spider* that's why"

"Me: *opens door* Yes? Him: Hi. Can I have a minute of your time to talk to you about The Lord? Me: ..Of The Rings? Him: Uh No.. *door slam*"

"She told me to give her 9 inches, and make it hurt. So i fucked her 3 times, and punched her in the nose"

"I don't think drinking Vodka is the solution to all of my problems... But it's worth a shot."

"What do you call a green cow in a field? Invisibull."

"If the number 666 is considered evil ..is 25.8069758 the root of all evil? Edit: My first gold! Thank you kind stranger."

"First Caribou: What well-known cartoon character do moths like a hole lot? Second Caribou: Micky Moth!"