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Joke of the Day

"Where do fishes keep their money? In river banks"

"I know the voices in my head aren't real but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome!"

"What do you call an aardvark that plays poker? A cardvark!"

"What's a pirate's favorite rapper? Kendrick Lamarrghhhh"

"What is it called when a Sailor in the Navy gets a care package from home? Underwear Replenishment"

"[All credit to Ana Kasparian from the TYT Network] So, I heard Kim Kardashian is having Kanye West's baby... At least she let him finish."

"The teacher asked Jimmy, ""Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?"" Jimmy replied crying, ""Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"""

"If all the Domino's employees in the world held hands, you'd have to make your own pizza."

"The best things in life are free. Unless it's herpes. Stay away from people who want to give you free herpes."

"*Rains pennies from heaven* *coins decimate the land [terrified scream] 'CHANGE IS IN THE AIR!'"