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Joke of the Day

"Here's a list of things I need you to accomplish without any resources to do them with. -management"

"95% of the world is retarded I'm glad I'm part of the 10%"

"What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate? A chocolate BAA"

"1. The truth will set you free. 2. The truth hurts. 3. Being set free hurts."

"My toddler fell, smashed his face into the cement, then played it off like he was giving the ground a kiss. No DNA test necessary."

"How did Gertie Gorilla make the 'Playboy' Calendar? She was 'Miss Ape-ril!'"

"My underwear is spoiled."

"Have you heard that there's a new mountain website? Really? I must take a peak at it!"

"A man has been shot with a starting pistol... The police are pretty sure it's race related."

"Have you heard about ISIS's new inflatable sex dolls They blow themselves up."