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Joke of the Day

"What did the optical illusion say when he got caught cheating on his wife ""It's not what it looks like!"""

"Why did the bird refuse Martin Luther's food? It was on a strict diet of worms. edit: changed pronoun to avoid ambiguity"

"Did you hear the one about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil."

"Did you hear about the murder of the door maker? The police said it was an open and shut case."

"Based on how poorly this burrito was wrapped, I assume it was made by the one person at Taco Bell that has never rolled a blunt."

"If you stare at a 6 year old when they're eating a banana split, they hold it real close and eat faster."

"What do you get when you cross an aged marsupial with a con game? The old switcheroo."

"Never seen a bar fight break out while people are drinking wine. Beer, yes. Hard liquor, yes. But not wine."

"What is the last thing to go through a fly's mind when it hits a windshield? Its ass"

"My grandfather never forgave the Japanese for Pearl Harbor... ...until I explained to him that it was the Americans who made that movie."