199524
Joke of the Day
"What's the difference between a Mexican and a book? A book has papers."
Next Joke
"So what if I don't have a perfect body?! I'm way better off than I was when I started. Ya know, a baby that used to shit his pants. I do that way less now."
"If you want someone to like you never text first. If they text you then don't text back. Never, ever talk. It's the only way to make it work"
"Q: How did a blind man drive his car? A: One hand on the wheel; the other on the road."
"Why did the French chef commit suicide? He lost the huile d'olive."
"What did the stamp say to the envelope? Stick with me man... We'll go places. Peace. Hmath out."
"Humans are like ketchup on a steak People look at you funny when you eat them"
"Slept like a log last night. Woke up in the fire place this morning."
"What is a germans favorite passtime at a concert? They jump off the stage to go krautsurfing."
"If Kim Jong UN and Kim Kardashian got married and had a child what would they name it? Kim JordashUn?"