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Joke of the Day
"Where does a wealthy lady reside? A womansion"
Next Joke
"Paul McCartney wrote 'Yesterday' But he also wrote 'Obla-de-obla-da' and 'Ebony and Ivory' So, don't worry if some of your tweets are shit"
"What's the Incredible Hulk's favorite food? Smashed potatoes."
"Why is your ass split vertically? Because if it was split horizontally it would clap when you're going down the stairs."
"I asked god for a bike but I knew it didn't work that way... So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness instead."
"How do you make a tissue dance? You put a boogey in it!"
"Seeing another person with synesthesia... is like music to my eyes."
"What's a pirates favorite letter? Ayyyy, tis true he loves R, but his true love is the C!"
"I can fake my way through most conversations with my kids if I just look up from my phone every time they stop talking and say ""no."""
"Confucius say... He who farts at church, sits in his own pew."