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Joke of the Day

"Why is your ass split vertically? Because if it was split horizontally it would clap when you're going down the stairs."

"A nail walks into a bar And gets hammered."

"How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side."

"Check out this list number 5 is awesome. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.awesome"

"Why did the nun swear when she got her new outfit? It was a bad habit."

"Meta I asked my friend "" you know what is the best type of joke? A meta joke."""

"how did the bananas get away from the cops? They split up."

"Did you hear about the amputee that came in last on Jeopardy? He was stumped."

"Sometimes I get flustered by waitresses and I say things like ""Abso-fruit-ly!"" and they laugh like I'm so clever but we both know"

"Technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in."