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Joke of the Day

"I asked god for a bike but I knew it didn't work that way... So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness instead."

"Vikings kicker Blair Walsh apparently attempted suicide last night. He ended up being just fine, he was unable to kick the chair out from under him."

"How did the blind man know Santa was in his house? He felt his presents."

"I had a package delivered And it was covered in drool and crayon. That's the last time I pay for a special delivery."

"Before seeing why your toddler has been quiet for 10 mins it's best to first call the plumber and write your apology letter to the landlord."

"Where did Mario and Luigi go to school? At 'Wass-a-matta U'"

"Spider-man has been unmasked in all his last 4 films. If I was him, I wouldn't even bother dressing up."

"What do you call a homosexual wizard who isn't Albus Dumbledore? Gayndalf The Gay"

"I'm feeling sluggish No one pour salt on me."

"How do you find your dog if he's lost in the woods ? Put your ear up to a tree and listen for the bark !"