199073

Joke of the Day

"Saw my ex-gf being beaten up by 4 guys, so as a human being I had to step in and help.. She didn't stand a chance against the 5 of us"

"Why is there an eject button on the DVD remote? You still have to get up & take the disc out. It's like having a remote to open the fridge."

"I'm not very religious but... I'm praying that next year there will be a Jew who can pardon me of all my crimes!"

"What do you call a crossdressing nanny in Martha's Vineyard? A Nantucket."

"Why did Jack get a restraining order? Beanstalking."

"Why is Hollywood full of vampires? They need someone to play the bit parts."

"How does Dracula eat his food? In *bite* size pieces"

"A Pokemon Go player walks into a bar... Then into a tree... Then into a car..."

"*reads online that you should befriend your coworkers with some water cooler talk* ME (to coworker): So, are you into water coolers?"

"What did O say to Q? ""Hey! Put that thing back in your pants!"""