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Joke of the Day
"Why is Hollywood full of vampires? They need someone to play the bit parts."
Next Joke
"What came first, the Chicken or the Egg? That depends on which one you had for starters"
"Sometimes if I trip on a crack I act like it's no biggie by breaking into a jog and don't stop until I'm in a new city with a new life."
"Q: What do Blondes say after sex? A1: Thanks Guys. A2: Are you boys all in the same band? A3: Do you guys all play for the Green Bay Packers?"
"In retrospect, back in my club days I should have recognized there was a reason the beat always sounded like DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE."
"Countries.. We used to have empires ruled by emperors. We used to have kingdoms ruled by kings. Now we have countries."
"Why do happy Asians always have dirty hands? ""If you're happy and you know it, crap your hands."""
"Accidentally pressed 2 for Spanish and Donald Trump's security team came out of nowhere to deport me."
"My coffee tastes like the dishwasher. Makes me wonder how Carl's doing and if he still has that same distinct flavor."
"Why does a blonde wear green lipstick? Because red means Stop."