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Joke of the Day

"Why did Jack get a restraining order? Beanstalking."

"What's better than a rose on your piano? Tulips on your organ EDIT: This blew up. (No pun intended)"

"What do you call a bird with 3 wings and 3 legs? Triangull"

"What's the difference between ""Fake News"" and CNN? I don't know Reddit, that's why I'm asking you?"

"Did you hear about the swingers.. that got kicked out of the swap meet?"

"My corn tortillas want me to like them on Facebook. Fuck the future."

"What cheese is made backwards? Edam."

"My fitness instructer keeps asking if I squat. No Gary..I rent. I'm not a hobo."

"[gf comes home after spray tanning] Hey, orange you looking good! ""Thanks"" Anytime, pumpkin! ""You're sweet"" You're one in vermillion!"

"I am taking a shot for every ""like"" I get on this status. Then again, I'm taking shots whether you bastards like it or not."