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Joke of the Day

"One thing horror movies have helped me realize is that as a parent, you definitely want to avoid having demonic children"

"How do you break up with a farmer long-distance? A John Deere letter."

"How do you get down off an Elephant? You don't. You get down off a duck."

"*At The Opera* Her: Where are you going? Me: I have to go to the Men's Room. Her: I have the car keys. Me: Shit!"

"What do you call a multiple choice dad joke? A pop quiz."

"What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? You're too young to smoke. Sorry, it's the first joke I ever learned, and I haven't ever seen it posted."

"Whats worse than having to break up with your Japanese girlfriend for the first time? Her not hearing you, so you drop the bomb a 2nd time."

"What do you call someone who slaps their siblings daughter? A niece slapper."

"What do you call Apple's next beauty product? The iLiner."

"""Have you senor self in a mirror lately?"" -Mexicintervention"