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Joke of the Day

"Whats worse than having to break up with your Japanese girlfriend for the first time? Her not hearing you, so you drop the bomb a 2nd time."

"What do you tell a gardener with a psych major? I fucking hate my mom."

"Barista: I have a latte for *3 second long screeching noise* Velociraptor: Actually it's *4 second long screeching noise* but close enough"

"How did a Hispanic farmer propose to his girlfriend? With arroz."

"What's the difference between a soldier and a teacher? As a soldier, it is your job to kill people. As a teacher, it is your job to try very hard not to kill people."

"Your vagina is so dry... ...That Native Americans do rain dances around it."

"How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb? None. It's a hardware problem."

"Anyone remember the joke about the dwarf? Can't think right now, should be easy to remember, it was only a short one."

"What do Mr. Spock and toilet paper have in common? They both hang around Uranus trying to wipe out Klingons."

"Santa: What do you want for Christmas? Me: a dragon! Santa: noo, be realistic Me: a girlfriend Santa: * cough * what color do you want your girlfriend?"