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Joke of the Day

"How do you get down off an Elephant? You don't. You get down off a duck."

"Do you know what the strongest thing in the world is? Exlax, it's a laxative and knocked the shit out of super man"

"I figured out why there are so many masturbation-related injuries that's when all the guardian angels cover their eyes"

"Man, I sure am mad about the rising bullet prices... Now I get less bang for my buck!"

"He slapped his two inches on the doctors desk. The doctor said ""What is wrong with it?"" ""It's swollen."""

"Did you know that Dracula wants to become a comedian? He's looking for a crypt writer."

"Some of my Satan worshiping friends invited me to an open discussion on Satanism... I'm not a Satanist myself, but I do like to play Devil's advocate...it was very confusing."

"if daniel day-lewis dies the doctors will hav to make extra sure he's dead. he may just be acting dead and no one woud ever kno"

"Why are politicians different from prostitutes? With prostitutes, the more money you pay the more you'll get fucked."

"what did the leper say to the hooker? keep the tip"