198931

Joke of the Day

"Riding up in the elevator with a bunch of children. So much screaming & crying. You'd think one of them would ask me what the hell's wrong."

"How do you get pickled bread? With dill-dough. Credit goes to a J. Cain"

"What do South American governments and internal combustion engines have in common? Both are measured in revolutions per minute."

"What do you call the first black guy elected to the White House? Precedent."

"My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head."

"Did you hear about the guy who got his whole left side cut off? It's OK. He's all right now."

"""Ok welcome to ask stupid questions club. Any questions?"" Is this ask stupid questions club? ""You're now the leader of this club"" What club?"

"What do you get if you ask a former presidential candidate to write a piece of music about a formula for solving a problem based on a sequence of specified actions? An algorithm."

"LPT: When Reddit is down it is a perfect time to do something away from your computer, like for example crying in a corner Well Reddit was down and I had to do something"

"Whenever somebody hits me, I yell, ""Somebody grab the pepper..."" ""...I was just as**sa**u**lt**ed!"""