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Joke of the Day

"Why did the radiologist break up with the gold digger? Because he saw right through her."

"i know a place where the recycling rate is 99% /r/jokes"

"You may think a squirt of water in the face is the best way to reprimand cats but turns out it works pretty well on people too."

"Two biologists are discussing a new book on amphibians... Biologist 1: What did you think of the chapter on frogs? Biologist 2: Oh it was quite ribbiting."

"My little sister's cat died... ...she cried telling me she needs another identical one. I got her one today, but i don't know why she needs another dead cat."

"A wig walks into a bar. A wig walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a pint. Bartender replies ""No way man!"" Wig ""Why not?"" Bartender ""Have you seen yourself? You're off your head!"" ;D"

"Therapist: U need some tools to cope with ur anger Me: Like a sledgehammer? T: No. More like breathing- M: Fire? Can u make me breathe fire?"

"Someone should have warned me, that when you have kids, they talk to you, like, ALL. THE. TIME."

"I never loved you any more than I do, right this second. And I'll never love you any less than I do, right this second."

"All those guys who refuse to marry their girlfriends until everybody has the right to marry must be shitting their pants."