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Joke of the Day
"What do you call someone who comes second in a long-distance boat race? An immigrant"
Next Joke
"How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them."
"You're McDonalds; I'm Burger King I'm doing it my way, and you're lovin' it."
"I farted on the train and 4 people turned around. Felt like I was on The Voice. (Not an original joke)"
"So my dad was all ""stop eating my pills"" and then I was like ""stop melting into the floor and spinning multi colored webs you talking lamp"""
"TIL You can't have a crusade without... USA"
"i asked my trainer which machine at the gym i should use to impress the girls... he pointed outside and said "" the ATM machine"" i had 15$'s left though.."
"A nurse comes in and tells a doc... ...""there's a man in the waiting room that thinks he's invisible. What should I tell him?"" Doc says, ""Tell him I can't see him today."""
"me: Did you brush your teeth? 9: Yes me *hands him a glass of orange juice* 9: Do I have to? me: Yep. Told you not to touch my Cheetos"
"Whats the difference between man united and a clown? ones a complete laughing stock and the other ones a clown."