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Joke of the Day

"A patient in his hospital bed asks his doctor... Patient: Doctor, how much time do I have left to live...? Doctor: Ten Patient: Ten what...? Doctor: Nine..."

"A man orders a pizza. The waiter asks him: ""Do you want your pizza cut in six or eight Pieces?"" The man replies: ""Six, i dont think i can eat eight"""

"I was going to make a joke about pepper but it was too insalting."

"Because its action precedes its cause. Why did the tachyon cross the road?"

"What did the cannibal get when he showed up late to the luncheon? The cold shoulder."

"Man to very beautiful airhostess:- ""What's your name?"" Air hostess:- ""Eva Benz.."" Man :- ""Lovely name...any relation to Mercedes Benz?"" Air hostess:- (smiling) ""maintenance cost is same"" :D"

"When professors with tenure need a quick snack Do they eat academia nuts?"

"My lesbian friends got me a Rolex for Christmas I don't think they understood when I said 'I wanna watch'"

"It seems women are not content with just being women these days. First there was Beyonce with ""If I was a boy"" now there is this Bieber chick with ""If I was your boyfriend"""

"""Are you smarter than a 5th grader?"" Me: ""Sometimes?"" ""Are you smarter than a 16 year old?"" Me: ""Always."""