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Joke of the Day

"I heard diarrhea is hereditary... It runs in your jeans. (Ba dum tss)"

"When you go to the dentist, Reddit... Don't cheetohn your diet!"

"Why did the Libertarian cross the road? None of your damn business. Am I being detained?"

"*finds all 7 dragonballs *dragon appears* ""WHAT IS YOUR WIS...OH GODDAMMIT CHAD, FOR THE LAST TIME I CANNOT MAKE PEOPLE RESPECT NICKELBACK"""

"Old man first world problem I can't use a fleshlight without first using viagara"

"I like my women like I like my coffee... ...black and strong!"

"My dad's reasoning for wearing sandals to Church Jesus wore sandals too."

"Hubby: As a start I think you should learn to ""iron"" then we could do without the ironing lady. Blonde Wife: Well if you would learn to fuck me properly we could do without the gardener."

"If all the animals on the equator were capable of flattering Then halloween and thanksgiving would fall on the same day"

"TIFU by crying at a funeral -- about my favorite team losing. sorry wrong sob"