198563

Joke of the Day

"Why didn't the skeleton ask out the Zombie to go to the Halloween party? He didn't have the guts"

"What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick in someone's asshole"

"Marry had a Little Lamb... Marry had a little lamb, Little lamb, Little lamb. Marry had a little lamb... The Doctor was surprised."

"I'm thinking of maybe giving up on my Olympic dream."

"Q: Why won't a bike stand up by itself? A: It's two tired."

"I want to surprise my boyfriend by sending him a sexy pic while he's at work, but I can't decide what outfit to put on the cat."

"What does a sarcastic fishing-rod with a broken reeler say? No, reely?"

"Jokes are like farts, if you have to force it, its probably shit"

"You wanna know why me and my wife don't see eye to eye anymore after 26 years of marriage? She lost her legs so we're no longer the same height. edit: I'm sorry, I thought this was /r/antijokes"

"Just saw a guy wearing a hat that says ""Don't Bother Me,"" so I asked him where he got it & how much it cost & whether or not it works."