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Joke of the Day

"You wanna know why me and my wife don't see eye to eye anymore after 26 years of marriage? She lost her legs so we're no longer the same height. edit: I'm sorry, I thought this was /r/antijokes"

"How do al-Qaeda like their toast? Bean-laden"

"I Told my wife I lost 10 pounds in a hour The She said ""Sweety, we call them Dollars here"""

"What do you do if a 4 year old girl catches you masturbating? Untie her"

"Happy Columbus Day! The man invented OUR modern work culture! He set out to do somethin, stumbled upon somethin else & took credit for it!"

"I am not an alcoholic An alcoholic needs a drink, I have a drink."

"A fart is the only bodily function which has its own punctuation. The skid mark."

"When I was 13 my dad gave me a bunch of socks n said ""I heard u grunting in ur room last night, do it into these"" So now I poop into socks"

"Why are Buddhists so good at King cake Because they are great and finding their inner piece"

"What do you call a stegosaurus with carrots in its ears? Anything you want to - it can't here you!"