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Joke of the Day

"I wanted to hear the pitter-patter of little feet so now my cats wear tap shoes."

"Why do we call dogs, K-9? ...because K-10 is for cats."

"How did the pepper end up getting killed? A salt with deadly weapon"

"With age comes wisdom... ...but sometimes age comes alone."

"SON: Can horses run in the Olympics? DAD: Wouldn't be fair SON: Why not? DAD: [hand on son's shoulder] Usain Bolt is just too fast, buddy"

"Why do elephants paint their testicles red? To hide in cherry trees. Ever seen one? No? It works. What's the loudest sound in the forest? Giraffes eating cherries."

"[talking to family after emergency surgery] Your positive energy saved my life Surgeon: *waves hand* umm hello"

"Why did Lamar give money to Kobe? Because Lamar Odom"

"What's the difference between an orange? One of them doesn't."

"What's a wavelength's favorite animal? A lamb, duh!"