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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick in someone's asshole"

"How much hummus did the anorexic girl order? A tahini bit."

"A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog. It's a **shitzhu**."

"I laid my tired head down on my pillow & saw the most terrifying thing I could possibly imagine: My phone. On my dresser. Across the room."

"So crap that it's good (I hope) Whats white and cant climb trees? A fridge -_-"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Argo ! Argo who ? Argo down to the beach for my holidays"

"What is my girlfriend's favorite meal? A dish called: ""I don't know, you choose."""

"Imagine being so rich you could afford the other monocle."

"This joke ends in a non-sequitur... ... I know, I couldn't follow it either."

"*watches a house fall on you* *steals your shoes*"