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Joke of the Day
"Dear middle finger, thank you for sticking up for me."
Next Joke
"I just ordered a door bell on Amazon... Shit, how am I gonna know when it gets here?"
"If your jokes are corny I'm all ears."
"How did Christopher Columbus find India? He used Apple Maps."
"I have exponential spelling but terrible malapropism"
"""Hashtag."" #ReplaceAOneWordMovieTitleWithTheWordHashtag"
"I went to the doctor the other day and he told me I need to quit masturbating I asked why and he said ""because I'm trying to examine you!"""
"My mother in law bought a talking parrot, but returned it a week later. ""This parrot hasn't spoke a single word."" She complained. ""I haven't had a fucking chance to!"" Replied the parrot."
"I capture lions for a living... I guess you could say I take pride in my work."
"So I was wondering whether any of my friends could possibly teach me quidditch... ...and then I thought, ""wait a minute, I know one. Oliver would""."