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Joke of the Day

"I have exponential spelling but terrible malapropism"

"What has got two legs and bleeds? Half a dog!"

"My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping they're more brave than I am."

"Why are toilet tasks called ONE and TWO? Because TWO rhymes with POO"

"I hate when I'm cruising in my convertible, hair blowing in the wind, then realize I'm just sitting on my ride-on lawnmower. Drunk. Again."

"My boss asked why he didnt see me at work on halloween. I told him I went as god. I clearly was never there, and all the work that got done I did not do."

"What did the left tit say to the right tit? If we don't get some support soon, people are going to think we're nuts!"

"How come you never see black people on ships? They aint falling for that shit again."

"Hosted a mass debate party last night. I was the only one who came."

"What does God do whenever he gets frustrated with Jesus? He gets out the Bible Belt!"