198210

Joke of the Day

"I stopped going to the beach because people kept mistaking me for a corpse and poking me with sticks"

"What did the cannibal get when he was home late for dinner? A cold shoulder"

"I love watching a bird of prey in flight, soaring through the--nevermind its a trash bag everything sucks"

"What is Tony Romo's favorite lottery game? Pick Six"

"That scene which she dies is full of suspense... What a breathtaking moment."

"Shields. What is Captain America's shield made of? Vibranium. What is Hawkeye's Shield made of? **Quicksilver**"

"When my wife starts to sing I have to go out in the yard and work in the garden so the neighbors don't think domestic violence is happening."

"Why can't you starve in a desert? Because of all the sand which is there."

"A Roman walks into a bar... And he holds up two fingers. ""Five beers, please,"" he asks."

"I used to think it was cool to be into guys 10+ years my senior but turns out all they want to do is talk about tv shows I never watched"