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Joke of the Day

"Shields. What is Captain America's shield made of? Vibranium. What is Hawkeye's Shield made of? **Quicksilver**"

"What does a know-it-all always have in their kitchen? A pedantry."

"I'm Canadian so if I ever apologize to you, know that it was a reflex and not sincere."

"Airport Security: has anyone put anything in your luggage without your knowledge, sir? Sir: How the hell am I supposed to answer that?"

"SCIENCE FACT: if you took all of the veins from your body and laid them end to end, you would die."

"How do you fit 50 Jews in a car? 2 in the front 3 in the back and 45 in the ash tray."

"ISSUE: is the road runner wile e coyote's son FOR: thhey, seem to respect each other, on some level AGAINST: one of them is a dog"

"Kim Jong-il became Kim jong-ded Now Kim Jong-Un with his wife who has vanished from public since 7 months, might be having a Kim Yung-Un"

"Two drums and a cymbal fall out of a tree Ba-dum tss"

"Have you heard about the Viagra computer virus? It turns your two and a half inch floppy disk into a hard disk."