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Joke of the Day

"When my wife starts to sing I have to go out in the yard and work in the garden so the neighbors don't think domestic violence is happening."

"Whenever I'm on a flight and a bald person sits next to me, it takes a ton of willpower not to draw on their head when they are sleep."

"I like my women just like Apple... Manafactured in China."

"If I had a dime for every time I dug a hole... I'd be in the hole."

"What do you get when you put an idiot's brain in a female golden retriever? A dumb blonde bitch."

"Why isn't there many Mexicans in Europe? BeCause it's to cold, long a swim"

"What do you call a meth-head that's been up for 2 weeks? A two-weeker"

"What do you get when you cross a bad politician with a crooked lawyer? Chelsea Clinton"

"Hi, my name is Kate. I am 12 and I am still a virgin... does that mean my dad is gay?"

"Why don't old men like old women? Ever tried to peel apart a grilled cheese sandwich?"