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Joke of the Day

"Rats are under rated. Just check your dictionary."

"What's a good comeback for a women when she's asked to get her husband a sandwich? She better come back with a goddamn sandwich!"

"My black friend called me a disgrace in front of his girlfriend. But then I realized he was introducing me to his girlfriend, Grace."

"What's the best part about marrying a farmer? You get to grow old together."

"Why did Michael Sam, the first openly gay NFL player, say he doesn't shop at Sports Authority? Because he prefers Dick's."

"I love balloons! I keep tying them to my arm, but I think I'm getting carried away."

"People are funny. They spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't need, to impress people they don't like."

"What did the mole say when someone told him there were entire above-ground civilizations? ""Holy moley, I didn't know that!"""

"If i don't get a B+ or better on the Emergency Broadcast System Test this Saturday. My mom said she's taking my iPhone away for a month."

"Love is like a fart If you have to force it, it's most likely shit."