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Joke of the Day

"My black friend called me a disgrace in front of his girlfriend. But then I realized he was introducing me to his girlfriend, Grace."

"What's the difference between a Catholic priest and acne? Acne waits until you're 12 to come on your face. I'll see myself out now"

"Our laundry room flooded because an apple chunk clogged the washer hose. Go ahead, have kids. They have pocket apples."

"Love is all fun and games until someone loses an eye or gets pregnant."

"The RAF will be doing a flypast over Buckingham Palace. Due to a lack of aircraft they'll be using the Easy-Jet from Gatwick to Barcelona."

"One women's ""oh hell no that's gross"" is another women's ""oh please do that again""."

"What did the escalator say to the elevator? Nothing, he just staired."

"Q: How does a blonde moonwalk? A: She pulls down her panties and slides her ass along the floor!"

"[first date] HER: You smell so good. What are you wearing? ME: *nodding and sniffing myself* Mashed potatoes with gravy."

"This guys car is stopped in the middle of the hwy with his flashers on. Probably thought of a really good tweet."