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Joke of the Day

"GOD: That's the last of the animals. Now add warning colors to the poison ones ANGEL: Will do GOD: But not all of them, keep some surprises"

"I'm like Harvard. Hard to get into, but once you're in, everyone is super impressed."

"What do you call a carnivore get-together? a meat-up"

"If trump gets elected can we make a show similar to the apprentice but when Trump says ""your fired"" he sends a nuclear missile at a country."

"Why couldn't the skeleton hurt itself? Because it didn't have the nerves."

"Breaking news! Cannot unsee! Mathematicians find 2-1=0!"

"What should you do if you come across a tiger while in the jungle? Wipe it off and apologize."

"I'll stab someone if they hurt my kids. Or touch my nachos."

"A prison inmate walks into a bar."

"Let he who is without sin throw the first stone. After that we'll go by who has the birthday closest to today, then by height."