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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the suicide bomber that became a Youtube sensation? He never thought he'd blow up like this."

"There are few things more awkward on a blind date than looking up from your phone to realise she's left. She obviously wasn't blind at all."

"I just got a job helping a one arm typist do capital letters. It's shift work."

"*walks up to fountain* *throws in a shiny penny* *crosses fingers* *makes wish* *looks over at mother-in-law* *does throat slash motion*"

"Me: *braids girl's hair* Girl: *turns around, terrified* Me: The movie was boring me... *leans back in seat* *eats popcorn*"

"Where is tennis mentioned in the Bible? Where Joseph served in Pharaoh's court."

"Two television sets got married. The wedding was boring, but the reception was beautiful."

"What did the Jihadist say when he had explosive Diarrhea? ALLAHPOO AKBAR!"

"What do you call a teacher that doesn't fart in public? A private tutor (tooter) Heard it from a guy on the street selling newspapers in front of the art institute in chicago."

"Had to sober up in a hurry this morning so I chugged a few Coors lights."