19687

Joke of the Day

"Why is it everything I love is either unhealthy, addicting or has multiple restraining orders against me?"

"How do you summon a wizard taxi? CABRACADABRA!"

"A daughter goes to her Jewish father and asks for $20 The father replies ""$10, what do you need $5 for?"""

"Tried seducing my wife with a 'lil strip tease. She said it was going well right up until I got naked and spread my butt cheeks in her face."

"In Canada... ...you are more likely to be killed by a moose than a terror plot. Damn Mooselisms."

"What's the best thing about Switzerland? I'm not sure, but their flag is a big plus."

"Yo' mama is so stupid... (OC) She thinks Salmonella is a Disney fish princess."

"Apparently trapping people in an elevator overnight (even if you have marsh mellows) not a good way to make friends, people are so sensitive"

"It's hard dating a snowman... His parents will never warm up to you."

"Marriage is an institution. So is the mental hospital."