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Joke of the Day

"How do you summon a wizard taxi? CABRACADABRA!"

"Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John proceeds to break into tears as his mother's alzheimers has progressed to the point where she doesn't even remember him."

"Well, well, well. Looks like I may have a lawsuit on my hands: a gynecologist refused to treat me, and I'm pretty sure it's because I'm gay."

"I was walking home and saw some drunk guy trying to steal someones gate... I was gonna say something, but I din't want him to take a fence."

"Adulthood: If I do the thing I like, I'll be too tired to do the thing I hate."

"Your dog may be smarter than an honor student... but when was the last time you saw a mother carrying a plastic bag in case her honor student shits in the neighbor's yard?"

"Why couldn't Helen Keller drive Because she was a woman"

"Statistics say that 1/3 of people cheat in their relationships Which got me thinking, Is it my wife or is it my girlfriend who is cheating?"

"What has walls, but no corners, and an opening, but is not a room? A vagina. Lol, top kek."

"Cleanliness is next to godliness in a dictionary missing some stuff"