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Joke of the Day

"When Mr Maxwell's wife left him he couldn't sleep. Why was that? She had taken the bed."

"The fact acceptance movement and the French Revolution are very similar. People losing their heads over eating cake."

"A lady cut me off... The other day a lady cut me off who was texting while driving. I got so mad at her I pulled up beside her and threw my beer can at her."

"I treat women like I do numbers.... If they're under 16, do them in your head."

"I find it hard to dress casually. I always get emotionally involved."

"Tried to have sex on a railroad track, but the train came first."

"Why did the cow drink his own milk? He needed the cowlcium."

"What do you get when you breed a Shih Tzu with a Poodle? A shit poo"

"Facebook So I was in a public library and saw a homeless man I had seen around town on facebook. It got pretty depressing because the page wouldn't load every time he tried to click 'home'..."

"I suspect the number 200 sometimes impersonates the word ZOO."