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Joke of the Day

"What's the best thing about Switzerland? I'm not sure, but their flag is a big plus."

"What's the difference between the Holocaust and a goat? Can't keep milking a goat for 70 years"

"""It's a bird!"" [Superman zooms down to inches away from the screaming guy's face] S: Birds can't go that fast Sean. What are you an idiot"

"They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks... But I didn't even try and mine's been playing dead for an hour!"

"I just wish God hadn't hidden all of my talents so well."

"Did you know Ice-T has a half-brother? His name is Arnold Palmer."

"""Paintings or it didn't happen."" - 1700's-1920"

"A polish guy goes to the ophthalmologist Doctor: Can you read this? C Z J W I N O S T A W C Z Polish: Read? I know that guy!"

"The ugliest baby in the world was just born... they didn't print a birth certificate... they printed an apology letter instead."

"Therapist: ""I think you have a phobia of marriage. Do you know the symptoms?"" Me: ""I can't say I do."" Therapist: ""That's one of them."""