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Joke of the Day

"Mom holding crying baby: He just needs to be changed. Me: Yeah hopefully into a puppy or something quieter."

"Told my girlfriend that there was a party in my pants and that she was invited. She asked if it was a search party :("

"And that's why I never argue with my wife. Wife : Don't forget to pick up kids from school. Me : It's Saturday, they're both upstairs. Wife : It's Wednesday and we've three kids."

"I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift. But I couldn't find a manual."

"Two Peanuts were walking down a dark alley. One was a salted."

"What is the Funniest Joke You Can Think of Make it hilarious please."

"Blood is thicker than water, but maple syrup is thicker than blood. So pancakes are more important than family. There, I said it."

"How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them."

"Nothing beats a good math joke My penis is like an asymptote. It goes on forever but nothing ever touches it."

"I just heard Stevie wonder is a Terrible father... He never sees his kids"