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Joke of the Day

"I'll always remember the wise advice the bishop gave me You can take the boy out of church, But you can't take the priest out of the boy."

"My wallet just went through the wash. I guess you could say I've been laundering money."

"How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb? Seven. One to install the bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years"

"Did you hear about the cat that wanted to be a justice on the Supreme Court? Just kitten."

"Why is Christmas just like a day at the office ? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit."

"I was trying to recall what size shirt to get my friend the psychic, then I remembered.....medium, of course."

"Why was Samuel L. Jackson picking up ladies outside of the abortion clinic? Because he's a bad mother fucker."

"A man put an ad in the newspaper, saying ""WIFE WANTED"". The next day, he had hundreds of letters, saying ""You can have mine"""

"When life gives you melons... ...you probably have dislexia."

"Strippers won't tell you their real names for privacy, But they'll show you their buttholes for $5"