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Joke of the Day

"Why is Christmas just like a day at the office ? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit."

"me folding laundry: ugh another sock is missing puppet on my hand: how does that keep happening"

"Why is Ian Thorpe gay? He didn't like breast stroke."

"How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One."

"What is Spock's Birth Control method Vulcanized Rubber"

"What was the Numerologist's favorite seaside discount brothel? The One-Toothed Reef Whore Hive"

"So my ear doctor said... ...""If you continue down this path, soon you will lose your hearing."" and i asked. ""So no more PewdiePie videos?"""

"Why do only 20 percent of blonde chicks lay Easter eggs? The rest are hunting peckers."

"Why do black people not go on cruises? They won't fall for that one again."

"My friend was showing me around her loft. She said, ""It's a bit eratic."" I said, ""I know, there's lemon and lime peels everywhere."""