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Joke of the Day

"Why was Samuel L. Jackson picking up ladies outside of the abortion clinic? Because he's a bad mother fucker."

"Why is Chris Christie such a successful man? Because he is too big to fail."

"Difference between me and hitler At least Hitler knew when to kill himself"

"Adulthood is like the vet, and we're all the dogs that were excited for the car ride until we realized where we're going."

"""If you are fat you will die,"" said the thin ppl, who would never die."

"When I found out my toaster wasn't waterproof.... I was shocked"

"So I saw a black man running with a TV. Horrified I thought it was mine. But upon arrival home I saw mine was in its right place. Polishing my shoes."

"A joke is like a frog... ... you understand it better after you dissect it, but then the frog is dead."

"People are like trees: you can figure out their age by cutting into them & counting the rings. Right? I didn't do this for nothing, right?"

"Two cannibals are eating a clown... The one cannibal turns to the other and asks, ""does this taste funny to you?"""