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Joke of the Day

"A man put an ad in the newspaper, saying ""WIFE WANTED"". The next day, he had hundreds of letters, saying ""You can have mine"""

"I had sex with a girl in an apple orchard, I came in cider."

"There's two fish in a tank. One turns to the other and says.. You man the guns, I'll drive'"

"In honor of today's date (May the 4th be with you) I came up with a Star Wars joke Did you hear about the new Jedi beer? It's Force Ale."

"My favorite sex position is the JFK... I splatter all over her as she screams and tries to get out of the car."

"If you slept with my husband I'd be like ""OMG how much do I owe you?"""

"Why are Suicide Bombers always angry ? Because of their Short Fuses."

"I have a great story to tell u. ""Why don't u just go write a book"" Wow, that's- ""Don't u dare say it-"" a novel idea. ""I'm moving out"""

"Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house."

"My girlfriend told me she's going to break up with me if I don't stop with these nosebleeds... So I tell her ""Hey, if you can find better tickets, YOU look for them!"""