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Joke of the Day

"How many talking heads does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to hold the bulb, and another to spin the story until the bulb fits."

"The longest relationship I've had is with my first vibrator. We were together 7 years. Off and on."

"Buddy: Why don't women want to have sex in the morning? Me: Dunno Buddy: You ever try to open a grilled cheese sandwich?"

"Why does the man go to the beach when he's hungry? Because of the sand which is there."

"What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common? They both leave little boys rooms with empty sacks."

"A kid asks if they had colors in the 1930s. Yeah, but you didn't see them all the way in the back of the bus."

"<------Flair My penis is, -Yoda"

"A Muslim, an idiot, and a communist walk into a bar. The bartender says, ""Hello Mr.President."""

"Who's the greatest baller of all time? Pontius Pilate, he once crossed a guy up so bad he died"

"How do you call a gay person from Russia? Sergei."