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Joke of the Day

"Why does the man go to the beach when he's hungry? Because of the sand which is there."

"She told me my analogies didn't make any sense. It seriously made me feel like a biscuit in an elevator."

"Why is Jeb! Bush still running for president? Because the Bush family thinks that no child should be left behind."

"I say waiter there's a fly in my soup! Well throw him a doughnut - they make fantastic life belts!"

"I heard it was medically impossible for a quack doctor to make me straight But my chiropractor managed to realign my spine. He was kinda cute too."

"Parallel parking reality show. Get on that."

"I just can't take this long distance relationship anymore... I'm moving the fridge to my room."

"I don't care about Disney lying about my Prince Charming. I'm more pissed about forest creatures and their unwillingness to clean my house."

"I say we give them 1 more day and if they can't come to an agreement then we initiate the 1st U.S. Hunger Games."

"My girlfriend says she doesn't trust me. At least that's one thing she has in common with my wife."