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Joke of the Day

"Buddy: Why don't women want to have sex in the morning? Me: Dunno Buddy: You ever try to open a grilled cheese sandwich?"

"Happy and Sad An old man says to his wife, ""Honey, there is no possible way to feel both happiness and sadness at the same time."" The wife says, ""Out of all your brothers, you have the biggest dick."""

"Just watched a woman put on her sunglasses before walking into a restaurant, in case you wondered what living in LA is like."

"First cannibal: We had burglars last night. Second cannibal: Did they taste good?"

"I save so much money by not having any money."

"What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck. I'm sorry."

"My boss keeps getting pissed when I call him 'Dick' for short... It might be because his name is Brian."

"My boss calls me chief, so I really don't know who's in charge anymore. I hope it's not me because I haven't been paying attention."

"Life hack Use your seat belt buckle to open your beer while driving"

"What do you call a Spanish baker? A con-quiche-ador"