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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? It only takes one nail to hang up a picture of Jesus."

"Sure I get excited when he unzips his pants. I'm pretending it's the sound of his body bag."

"Remember to crowd around the baggage carousel like it's armageddon and the bags are the last remaining food items on earth, you animals."

"Life is like toilet paper, you're either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole."

"The strangest thing happened. A coworker who always says, ""Living the dream"" was mysteriously stabbed 37 times in the neck with my car keys."

"How do you want it die? Personally, i want to go out as my grandpa. Peacefully in his sleep. Unlike his passengers, screaming and crying."

"I don't just talk to myself. I talk to myself, get in a debate, lose, and then refuse to speak to myself for the rest of the day."

"How did the cynic die? He died of liver failure. He took everything with a pinch of salt."

"My neighbors are organizing something called a ""fun run"". This shit never happened when I lived in my car."

"What should you never say to a brony? Hello"