195779

Joke of the Day

"There are three types of people in this world. People who can count and people who can't."

"We can land a rover on freakin Mars but still no single-button to push for the _()_/ emoji"

"I was curious what happens after you die, so I asked an accountant. The accountant responded, ""form 706""."

"[kelloggs meeting] ""okay so, the corn flakes box, what can we put on it?"" a chicken ""jim is there something wrong at home?"""

"I call McDonald's to make a reservation for Valentine's Day, just to listen to the stammering and confusion from the kid answering the phone"

"How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb *thats not funny*"

"Your car took up two spaces, so I tried to move it over with my key."

"What's the difference between PHP and PCP? One makes you: * feel numb * see things that aren't there * panicked and paranoid * feel loss of control over your actions. The other is a synthetic drug."

"Two nuns walk into a bar. The third nun ducks."

"What idiot called it the toaster and not the tanning bread?"