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Joke of the Day

"What idiot called it the toaster and not the tanning bread?"

"At this point, the only reason I still get The New Yorker is to impress my mailman."

"What food guide does a Chicagoan need in Japan? A Ramen Manual."

"""I love you unconditionally*."" -God *Terms and conditions apply. See Bible for more details."

"How do you get a Baby in a bowl? How do you get it out? How do you get a baby in a bowl? With a mixer. How do you get it out? ""With nachos."

"HUSBAND: When I get mad at you, you never fight back.How do you control your anger? WIFE : I clean the toilet.... HUSBAND:How does that help ? WIFE : I use your toothbrush."

"My wife divorced me because I'm still making april fools pranks. April fools!"

"What sort of a car has your dad got? I can't remember the name. I think it starts with T. Really - Ours only starts with gas."

"What's the difference between a Mexican and a computer? You only have to punch the information into a computer once."

"I dont always roll a joint... But when I do its my ankle."