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Joke of the Day

"How do you get 20 Canadians out of a pool? ""Okay folks, time to get out of the pool!"""

"In the style of Mitch Hedberg. I don't like fish eggs on my sushi... ...because I'm against abortion"

"I have a fear of speed bumps But I am slowly getting over it"

"#wecanlandonacometbutwecant let a comet land on us. - Yakov Smirnoff"

"I like my women like I like my coffee I don't like coffee."

"I heard she accidentally spilled her chocolate milkshake on her white poodle- -knick knack paddy whack give the dog a... bath!!!"

"1987 was a great year for the payphone."

"What's the difference between Anders Breivik and a pro golfer? Both were happy to shoot 69, but only Breivik went to jail."

"I used to think I was into necrophilia, sadism, and bestiality... once I tried it, I realised I was just beating a dead horse."

"Two guys walk in to a Bar First Guy orders an H2O. The Other Guy orders H2O too. The Other Guy dies."